Top Five Cold

Whenever it gets really, really cold outside, I always refer to it being top-five cold. It’s a reference to one of the five coldest times of my life. Now that I think about it, they all involve ball games. In honor of the dog days of early summer, here they are, in no particular order.

1982 Sun Bowl, North Carolina 26, Texas 10.

El Paso is known as the Sun City. Sometimes, the Chamber of Commerce doesn’t get the memo. This was one of those times. Dad was radio/TV editor of the El Paso Herald-Post, the former afternoon daily newspaper, and he had an assignment that involved covering those who covered the game. In other words, he was in the press box, drinking hot chocolate. Meanwhile, mom, Kenny and Ursula and I were sitting on our seats on the east side of the stadium. I don’t remember much about this game, except for the famous Coca-Cola episode. We bought a Coke from one of the vendors (who probably also suffered that day), and Ursula put some antifreeze (rum, I think) in said drink. I’m 11 and won’t be introduced to the concept for several years. We’re shivering, dad’s in the press box, and I made mom buy me another drink. It’s lost to history, but I’m guessing I didn’t have too much Coke that day.

Tiger baseball

I lived in Clay Center, Kansas for 7 ½ years, covering high school sports across the area as the Assistant Sports Director for two stations in North Central Kansas. Great times, to be sure. One fine spring day (2008?) in the Sunflower State, I broadcast Clay Center Tiger baseball, as they were in Manhattan to play the Wamego Red Raiders. Wamego, east of town, is in the process of remodeling their ball field, so we played our scheduled doubleheader at Cico Park in MHK. Spring in the Midwest can be a finicky old lady, and this day was a prime example. No snow, just a cold and constant wind from the north at about 25-30. It’s not like there’s lightning or rain or snow, (read: no chance of postponement) so play ball. The folks at WHS were always very helpful (thank you, Athletic Director Mark Stephan) and as was customary, provided a chair and a folding table so I could set up shop. Thing is, the cold north wind cuts right through you after a while, and there’s no getting away from it. The kids and umpires are out there trying their best, but the innings go on and on and on. There doesn’t seem to be enough Kleenex to wipe my nose. Finally, game one comes to an end. If you can find a wall that blocks the northerly wind (i.e. near the men’s room), it’s not all that bad outside. Sadly, this is not where they’re playing baseball. I call Ann, who was my fiancée and lived in Manhattan. She saves the day by bringing me a nice warm blanket so I can broadcast/survive game two.

8-Man state football championships, November, 2005

Duane Toews (aka the Moundridge Mauler) is still the farm director at our two-station conglomerate, and in those days, he and I would do a lot of ball games together. He was an all-league DE for the Wildcats back in the days of leather helmets. We’d do eight-man finals, league basketball tournaments, etc. And have some great times. This event took us to Russell, KS (home of Senator Bob Dole) for a football doubleheader that started at 11 am. I did these games in Russell and in Newton, and apparently Ma Nature didn’t like the games being played at RHS, because I can’t remember doing games there when it was nice. But when the finals moved to Newton, the chamber of commerce ordered up some fine (if atypical) Kansas weather. I’ve gone prepared for cold weather and have had to take off coat, gloves, and hoodie, with nothing but sunglasses and a t-shirt and jeans.

No such luck this time. DT reads the weather at least 427 times a day during his weekday morning shifts, yet has no idea it’s gonna be cold for the games. I’ve got layer upon layer on, and I’m getting by, but Duane is severely underdressed for the occasion. He brought a medium-strength jacket and some gloves, but he’s got no shot against this northerly wind. I don’t recall the first game being as cold as the second one, when the sun starts to set behind the school building, but I do remember us sitting in the company car with the heat cranked up so as to thaw as much as possible before game two. The biggest problem I had during the nightcap was that it was so cold, my pens wouldn’t write anymore, making it hard to keep stats. I had to carry the broadcast, since I’d look over at ol’ Duaner and he’d just be there shivering like a freezing bobblehead. South Barber and Waverly were your winners and eight-man champions (two divisions) that day.

1984 Sun Bowl, Alabama 28, SMU 7

This was another year where the phrase ‘Sun Bowl’ was a bit of a misnomer. Highlights included the Mustang mascot hurting an ankle doing cartwheels/flips during pregame, and the SMU types being very vocal in their displeasure about coming to El Paso, thinking they deserved better. The entire Woodyard clan went to this game, which turned out to be my first Crimson Tide game. Much coldness here, too. The four of us wrapped up in blankets, one of which was spread across the laps of all four of us, with me on the far left of the formation. Now I’m cold, but gee, mom sitting next to me doesn’t look to be as bad off as me, so I start badgering her to swap with me. Eventually she relents and we switch, and I learn that it was warmer where I was. Crap. I don’t even remember if I tried to get my spot back. I *do* remember that there was no booze at this event, as there was in ’82. We left this game at halftime, it was so damn cold.

Okay, so that’s only four. But a couple of entries on the honorable mention list can make up the difference.

Whitharral/Valley six-man football coverage, 1999. Valley HS is near Turkey, Texas, and a Saturday evening game over Thanksgiving weekend. My parents were up for the weekend, joining me at base camp in Levelland, and were along for the ride. They sat and enjoyed the matchup between the Panthers and Patriots. I was in the press box, and sort of bundled up, but my feet were cold, and you know how that goes. If your feet are cold, your whole body was cold. That was me that night.

Hanover at Axtell, sub state eight-man playoff game, 2008. Yikes. They put heat machines on each sideline, and even the typically hardy (if somewhat crazy) Kansas high school football player didn’t stray far, and likely didn’t look forward to heading out to play ball and leave what little warmth there was. This game was in sharp contrast to the following Saturday’s state championship game in Newton, as mentioned above.

Okay, now go back outside and warm up a little.