The high cost of being a fan

I took half of Thursday off from my census job to observe what should be a national holiday-- the first day of the NCAA Tournament. Sure, it's a big NCAA cash grab, but it's fun, moreso than the Super Bowl. I'm not paid for taking this time off, but I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.

Fortunately, UTEP and Kansas State both played Thursday afternoon. KSU pretty much took care of business and beat North Texas, so they'll move on and play BYU, a team for whom my hatred stretches back nearly 30 years. The Miners and the Cougars had some epic battles on the basketball floor in the 80's-- games that cemented my love of the Miners.


UTEP's first-round game was with Butler. We were a 12-seed, apparently one of the last teams to get in. We played well in the first half, but decided not to defend the three-point line in the second half, enroute to a 77-59 loss. Words cannot describe the crushing sensation I felt watching the last seven or so minutes. Laying an egg in the Big Dance and losing in much the same way we lost to Houston in the finals of the conference tournament. It reminded me of watching the GMAC Bowl game against Toledo several years ago. Very painful.





So I felt much the same way today as I did after UTEP lost in the NCAA Tournament to Utah in 2005 and Maryland in 2004 (though I made that trip to Denver and had a great time). But it's a good thing, in a way. I LIKE that it hurts deeply. I LIKE that it costs something to be a Miner fan. I LIKE that it requires an effort and an investment to support this team emotionally. I don't have a good reason for why I like these things-- maybe that it reminds me that I'm alive, that it makes enduring things easier or makes life's challenges easier, I can't put my finger on it.


Maybe it's finding something positive in everything. Like that my team is the regular-season conference champion and won 25+ games, that they made it this far and that I got to watch them play, and that a talented group of basketball players chose to come to El Paso and represent the city I love, and try the best they knew how. Maybe it really *is* just a game.


But one thing I can put my finger on is that this thing of not letting these things govern my life is gaining strength, especially after today. I'm still able to breathe normally and not let the immense disappointment crush me and remember that it's supposed to be fun.